


Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night...

by Mertens



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Asexual Carlos, Asexual Relationship, Concept piece, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Gen, Ghost Cecil, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, a little dark in some chapters, clearly some kind of AU, it starts off as a story and devolves into vignettes, really don't now what to tag, talk of death, weird feels that come with the ghost character territory I guess, yeah you heard me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 18:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2742215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertens/pseuds/Mertens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil has had his eye on that perfect Scientist ever since he set foot in town. Cecil would love to be more than just the town radio host in Carlos' mind, but Cecil <i>might</i> be hiding a secret. Everyone has secrets, though - even Carlos. Sometimes secrets were meant to be told. But if we're going to be completely honest here, even the strongest relationships face their share of difficulties.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Goodnight, Night Vale, Goodnight."

With those words Cecil turned off the microphone, the switch flipping by itself and the "on air" light going dark. He grabbed his messenger bag off the floor and headed out the door. Tonight was special.

Tonight he was meeting with Carlos.

The perfect scientist had been in the little town for nearly ten months. It was just in the past two months, though, that Carlos had seemed to warm up to Cecil. It had started with Carlos no longer avoided Cecil when he saw him around town, and then slowly returning a smile or a greeting when he saw him, and then into small talk that had led to Carlos asking to meet with him to discuss some of the things in the town. 

Cecil walked out into the dusk. The sun was almost all the way down, and a little less noisy than usual. He hummed part of of an old tune as he walked down the sidewalk to Big Rico's. He had learned through the small talk over the last month that Carlos was here as part of his college education. He wasn't too clear on all the details, but he did know that Carlos was only a couple years younger than himself. 

Carlos was already inside of the pizza restaurant, sitting in on of the booths. He smiled and gave a little wave when he saw Cecil open the door. Cecil made his way over and sat down as Carlos pushed a menu over to him. Cecil glanced at it but didn't open it. 

"How was your day?" he asked, shoving his bag into the booth and smiling warmly. It was just like he had always hoped for so long - sitting across from the handsome scientist after a long day of work, looking forward to spending the evening talking with him. Admittedly, it wasn't actually a date, but it was still time he got to spend with him, and that was more than enough for now. 

"Busy." Carlos replied. "I've been typing up my research to send back to my professors, but now that I'm actually going through everything, I realize just how many questions were left unanswered. It's amazing, with so much that I've learned, seeing just how much there is left to learn, it's just…" he trailed off, realizing he was starting to ramble. But Cecil had his face resting in his hands and his elbows on the table, and he was looking at Carlos like he was the best thing in the world.

Carlos blushed. "So anyway, I was hoping you could help fill me in on some of the things around here."

"Of course!" he nodded eagerly. "Anything for science."

The waitress came up to the table, interrupting this conversation. "Hello, Cecil." she nodded towards him. "Are you ready to order?" she asked, looking at Carlos.

Carlos ordered the weekly special and small root beer, information Cecil filed away in his mind for later. Root beer - Carlos had very good taste. Cecil used to love root beer.

The waitress wrote down his order and left without glancing in Cecil's direction. 

"That was rude." Carlos frowned. "Cecil, didn't you want to order something? She didn't even ask." he turned to call her back.

"Oh, no, no!" Cecil almost panicked. "I'm not hungry, Carlos, really, it's fine. I didn't want anything."

Carlos sat back in his booth seat. "Are you sure?"

"I'm certain. What are your questions?" he hoped the subject would change without too much suspicion. 

"Here, I have a list." he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a list that appeared to be at least ten pages long. "Uh, we might not get to them all tonight."

"That's okay! We can always do this again to go over the rest of them!" Cecil saw the chance and jumped at it.

"Yeah, that works." Carlos chuckled. He put a notepad and a crayon on the table next to the list. "I, uh, that crayon was in the lab, and I couldn't find a pen…" 

"Pens are still outlawed at the moment." Cecil supplied sagely. "Crayons are for coloring, not for writing."

"That - makes sense, I guess."

They were able to get through two questions by the time Carlos' pizza was delivered to the table, and as he ate Cecil continued to describe why the rabbits in Night Vale looked the way they did. The extra eyes seemed unsettling, but when Cecil explained it like that, it only made sense. If anything, it made Carlos question why more rabbits in other places didn't have an extra set or two of eyes.

They stayed for a hour or so longer after he was finished eating. Carlos was surprised at just how much Cecil knew of the town's history.

"Did you learn all this at the community college? Some kind of special history class for radio hosts?" he joked.

"No, not exactly…"

"The way you tell some of these stories is almost like you were there!"

A funny look passed over Cecil's face, but Carlos didn't notice.

"That's what I like about hearing you on the radio, you always tell things in the most interesting way." he glanced down, suddenly a little embarrassed. He hadn't meant to say that part out loud. "Oh, it's getting late. I should probably be going soon. You probably have things you need to get to, too."

Cecil stifled a sigh. "Yeah, I guess so." he didn't want to keep Carlos from his important work. As much he enjoyed this evening, it was over, and that was that. It would be selfish to keep a scientist from his science. 

The night air was chilly as they stepped outside. Carlos paused before saying what was on his mind.

"Hey, Cecil."

"Yeah?"

"I really enjoyed tonight."

"Oh! I did too." he smiled.

"You know, I was thinking maybe we do this again?"

"Sure! We do still have more things on your list to go over."

Carlos chuckled nervously. "Yeah, we do, but I thought, you know, maybe..."

Cecil waited patiently as Carlos scratched his head and searched for the right words.

"Maybe we could get together, for non-science related reasons. For- for personal reasons."

For a moment, Cecil was utterly silent. Then he realized Carlos might be mistaking his silence as a rejection. Then, there was suddenly a string of words and possibly sentence fragments that all tried to tumble out of his mouth at once. Cecil was not sure exactly what all he ended up saying, but he was pretty sure there was a "neat" in there somewhere, and when he got to his home later that night, he would hold his face and groan as he thought about it. But at the moment that it happened, Carlos had just laughed in a relieved manner and asked if the weekend was a good time for Cecil. Cecil agreed to it, that was Carlos said those three perfect words with his perfect mouth - "It's a date!" - words that Cecil would replay in his mind at least a dozen times before the sun came up.

Cecil was so happy he nearly skipped all the way back to his house. Carlos drove back to his apartment feeling happier than he had in a long time, music turned up a little louder than he normally would have had it, but not so loud as to draw the attention of the Sheriff's Secret Police. In four day's time, he would be meeting the cute boy from behind the radio in the park, where it would officially be the first date Carlos had been on in almost four years. A slight nagging worry tugged at the back of his mind, but he pushed that thought down and focused instead on how happy he was at the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost kept this as part of a longer chapter that I'm still working on, but as it changes scenes/days right away, I figured I'd post this on its own for now. It's shorter than I'd like for a single chapter to be, but the next chapter is on it's way soon... :/

Three days had passed. They hadn't seen each other since the night at Big Rico's, but Carlos had been listening to Cecil's show every night. The long hours in the lab by himself didn't seem so lonely with those dulcet tones floating through the airwaves. He was fairly certain it wasn't just his imagination that Cecil had sounded a little extra happier these past few days, either. He tapped his foot along to the beat of the weather and read over his notes from earlier. 

The weather soon ended and Cecil's voice came back on. 

"Listeners, I have big news!" 

Carlos couldn't help but smile as he reached for his glass of water. Cecil sounded so excited over whatever it was he about to announce.

"You all remember that perfect scientist, Carlos, right? Well, he and I are going on a date tomorrow!"

Carlos spit out his drink. He had not seen that coming at all. His face burned with embarrassment. 

"Now, I know, and I'm sure you know, that Carlos - being a man of science - is usually very busy with very important things. That's why I'm so excited for this date! It's like he thinks of me as something important too!" Cecil gushed.

Carlos out his hands over his face. 

"Just think! He's taking time out his busy schedule just to spend time me - it's not even for science or anything! Now I know you're probably thinking, 'Cecil, are you sure this isn't like that time you thought had a date with that giant sentient tumbleweed that came through town when really it just wanted you to pass on a message to that suspicious cactus in Radon Canyon?' Well, Listeners, I have it on pretty good authority that this date is for 'personal reasons' - Carlos himself said so."

Carlos groaned. Cecil sounded so smug about it.

"I'm really looking forward to learning more about our resident scientist. And just maybe, he's looking forward to learning about me… We'll see it goes, Listeners."

He switched to speaking about the updates from the local sports teams, but not before Carlos could pick up a bit of wistfulness in his tone towards the end. It made Carlos want to reach out and hug him, to assure him that yes, he did care about him, and he did want to learn more about him. That was rare for Carlos. There was something different about Cecil than the other guys Carlos knew. 

It was that differentness that made Carlos ask him out. Most of the time Carlos preferred to refrain from relationships with physical contact - kissing, hugging, sex - even just the thought of holding someone's hand made his palms sweat. But it wasn't like that with Cecil. True, he hadn't actually touched him yet, but there was something about the way he looked at him with such adoration and respect - a look that showed how glad he was to be there with him, but also one that would seem to understand if Carlos sent him away forever and wouldn't blame him for it. It made Carlos want to embrace him and keep him safe from the dangers of the world. 

It had probably also helped a great deal that Cecil, despite speaking about him numerous times on the radio, had never tried to force a close proximity at any time. He had made his interest in him clear on the radio, but when they met in person, Cecil had always been respectful of boundaries - never standing too close to Carlos, never trying to touch his shoulder or hand like guys in the past had when flirting, no 'accidental' hand brushing against his when handing him something. Carlos never felt like Cecil was trying to push him into something before he was ready.

He wasn't sure how much Cecil was expecting on their date the next day, but he figured he would have to tell him sooner or later, and it would most likely be easier to tell him sooner. As comfortable as he felt around him, there was still only so much he could give him, and he felt it would be easier to establish those boundaries right away to prevent future awkwardness. He made a mental note to bring it up with him towards the end of the night. His stomach flip flopped at thought of having to tell him, but surely with all of the strange things in Night Vale, his lack of an interest in physical relationships wouldn't seem that odd. At least, he thought to himself with a wry smile, he wouldn't be looked at as though he had sprouted a second head, as that was a common occurrence around here and Night Valians knew it was rude to stare.

With that comforting thought in mind, he packed up his things and headed home from the lab.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no concept of "soon". 
> 
> Also, I had some computer issues. D: They have yet to be completely resolved. :/  
> If you see some horrible typo or something doesn't make too much sense, most of this was typed on a phone - so only about half of it is to blame on my incompetence. :B

Cecil could barely contain his excitement for that evening. His show was not on the weekends, so he was left to roam aimlessly and anxiously throughout his house until it was time to meet with Carlos. He couldn't seem to focus on much of anything. Nothing on Netflix could hold his interest, and he couldn't get much of anything typed out in all those unfinished word documents on his computer holding unfinished fan fiction. In the end he settled for doing some dusting, a task that took up about two hours. 

 

Finally, he could stand it no longer. He changed out of his around the house clothes and into what he was wearing for the date. It was still a little while until Carlos would be out, but he didn't want to stay cooped up any longer. He started out on a round-about walk that eventually lead him to the gardens where he supposed to meet Carlos. He stood there outside the gates for a few minutes before he noticed someone walking down the sidewalk. Not just anyone, though - it was Carlos.

 

Cecil stared wide-eyed at the approaching figure. Carlos hadn't spotted him yet. He was walking along with his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground.

 

"Carlos?" Cecil said when he was close enough to be heard. Carlos looked up, surprised. 

"Oh no, I'm not late am I? I thought for sure we weren't meeting until later - I haven't kept you waiting have I?"

Cecil smiled at how flustered he was. "No, you're right - were both here early. I was just... Out for a walk." he gave a small shrug. 

"Yeah, me too I guess." he glanced down, silently cursing his own face as he blushed. Why was he blushing? This was Cecil, who he he'd talked to so many times for work, who he saw around town practically every week. He should have absolutely no reason to feel shy around him - except this was Cecil. Cecil, whose hair always had that sassy wave to it. Cecil, with his bright eyes and thick eyelashes. Cecil, who had said 'yes' to going on a date with Carlos and was looking at him like Carlos was the best thing in the world. 

He waited for a few seconds until it was clear Cecil wasn't going to speak before saying something. 

"So, are you busy right now, or..."

"Oh!" Cecil broke out of his reverie. "You probably have things you want to get done before tonight, don't you? We can meet here a bit later." Don't be selfish Cecil, he thought to himself. Carlos so graciously took time out of his busy day to spend a few hours with you, and here you are hoping he spends even more time he never agreed to. 

"I'm actually done with my work for the day. But I know you might be busy with radio stuff or reporting or something like that." he trailed off. "I don't want to keep you from something you need to do."  
Damn it Carlos, he told himself. Use your words - you know how! As a scientist, he liked think he had a fairly decent command of the English language, but when he was around Cecil all his words and knowledge of how to use them seemed to escape him. Most times he was able to hold it together by focusing on whatever science or news he had to discuss with Cecil, but this time they were meeting for personal reasons. It was different. 

"I don't have anything I need to do! I'm free right now! I- I mean, if you're free, and I'm free... Do to want to...?"

Carlos couldn't help but smile. "Do you want to start our date early?"

Cecil nodded eagerly. "That would be great!"

The two started down the winding path that lead into the gardens. Even when meeting for science or news story reasons, they had always managed a bit of conversation in between work talk, so much of the more superficial pleasantries could be skipped. Favorite movies, hobbies, and similar things had all been discovered like bits of gold buried in the sand of dialogue about unfelt earthquakes and clocks that didn't quite work. Cecil had clung to those small details that Carlos would drop, treasuring them as important information, and unbeknownst to him Carlos had felt the exact same way. 

Because of this they were able to quickly jump into a deeper dialogue. As they walked past the bright, sometimes venomous flowers, Carlos spoke about his college and his professors and all the other students he had left behind when he came Night Vale. Cecil wanted to know all the details, and the way Carlos described them made him feel like he was there. By the time they reached the shrubbery section of the gardens, they were discussing Carlos' family. Cecil laughed along at stories of pranks pulled by other siblings and sometimes himself and smiled sadly at heartfelt memories of holidays spent with now-deceased grandparents. 

When they emerged from the shrubberies and into the arboretum, Carlos announced that his feet were tired. Cecil suggested they sit down under one of the trees, which they did. 

"Now that you're in Night Vale, do you ever miss your family? It must be hard being so far from them."

Carlos leaned back against the tree's trunk. "I do sometimes. Most of the time I'm so caught up in work, you know, I kind of don't really think about it. But then sometimes out of blue I'll think of them and really miss them. I have to take into account the time difference so I can't always get in touch right when I want to, but at least I can email and call and Skype,so it's not too bad." he paused for a moment. "What about you? You haven't told me anything about you're family. Do they live in Night Vale?"

Cecil looked away. "They used to."

Carlos could sense the atmosphere had shifted and waited for him to continue.

"They all died a long time ago. It's just me."

Carlos felt a pang of sympathy. "Oh Cecil, I'm so sorry." he tentatively reached a hand out, intending to place it on Cecil's knee in a token of comfort. At just that moment, however, Cecil glanced back towards Carlos and saw the outstretched hand. He pulled his legs up closer to his body, safely out of Carlos' reach. Carlos awkwardly retracted his hand, fearing for second that he had overstepped his bounds. But Cecil continued his story as though nothing had happened. 

"My mother and my older brother. It was so long ago. I don't like to think about it, and I like talking about it even less. I miss them so much, though." 

Cecil was still looking away from him, but Carlos could at least half of his face. He had the oddest look, a mix of utter bafflement and a kind of distant pain that threatens to become all too close too soon. It reminded Carlos of the looks his little five year old cousin would get after running too fast and falling down - wavering between shock of finding the world is not as he thought it to be and the threat of bursting into tears at any moment from the sting of the sudden unfairness. 

"I can't even begin to imagine life without my family there to support me. Especially in a place like Night Vale. You must be very strong to keep doing what you do here."

Cecil now looked over at him with a small smile. "That's so kind of you to say. I appreciate it. You're such a thoughtful scientist. I love you." the last part was said softly, and judging from how Cecil froze after he said it, Carlos figured he hadn't entirely meant to say it out loud at all.

 

Up until this point, Carlos had always been a bit uncertain if he could describe his feelings for Cecil as strongly as Cecil felt for him. But it was just then, in the fading daylight under the tree in the garden that he knew. He loved this strange man next to him. 

"I know it's only our first date - well, first official date - but, I love you too, Cecil. I think you're... Neat."

Cecil covered his face with his hands. When he took them away, he was grinning but there still seemed to be something on his mind. 

"I'm so glad, Carlos. Really. This has just been the perfect day."

Carlos braced himself for what seemed inevitable - Cecil would reach out and embrace him and possibly kiss him. Despite how he felt about him, he wasn't terribly thrilled about that, but he really did care for him so he figured it was worth doing. His shoulders tensed slightly. 

But Cecil stayed right where he was, grinning as he stared at Carlos. 

Oh shit, Carlos though. He probably wants me to initiate the hug or whatever. 

Carlos grinned back. He couldn't bring himself to reach out like that. After all, Cecil had pulled away earlier when Carlos had reached towards him. Maybe it was some Night Vale thing, where it was bad luck to touch someone else in a garden. Or maybe it was just a Cecil thing, a condition where he bruised easily or, like Carlos, simply didn't like being touched. 

"Well, I'm glad the feeling is mutual." Carlos chuckled. "It's getting dark, isn't it? What time does the park close?"

He stood up, and to not seem too distant or aloof he held out a hand for Cecil to pull himself up with. Cecil ignored this as well and stood by himself. 

"The park closes about an hour after sunset. But there's a beautiful lake not too far from here, and you can see the stars reflected in it." he paused. "Do you need anything to eat?"

Carlos thought about it. They had spent hours in the garden. He hadn't paid any attention before, but now he realized he was starving. 

"I could go for a snack, yeah. What sounds good to you?"

"No, I'm fine, but let's get you something."

They exited the garden and made their way towards White Sand Ice Cream. Once inside, Carlos placed his order and Cecil again refused anything for himself, stating he wasn't hungry. It struck Carlos as odd - it must have been at least half a day since Cecil had eaten last. He racked his mind trying to remember if he'd ever seen Cecil eating anything in all the time if knowing him. Cecil wasn't so thin as to look like he had an eating disorder, but Carlos couldn't help but worry for him anyway. 

"Are you sure you don't want to even try anything?" he tried one more time as they walked out of the shop. 

"No thanks." he said a little shortly. 

"Look, I got a second spoon - don't you want a taste?" he held up the wax coated paper cup filled with pineapple ice cream. 

"Carlos, please don't push this." there was an edge of desperation in his voice. He wasn't just asking; he was begging. 

"I'm sorry." Carlos felt guilty. "I love you." he added after a moment for good measure. 

"It's okay. I love you too. I just..." he sighed deeply. "It's such a long story. I'll tell you eventually, I swear I will. But tonight - tonight has been so good. I don't want to spoil this just yet. Is that okay?" he looked at Carlos anxiously. 

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. If you aren't comfortable, you can wait as long you need."

"How did I get so lucky?" Cecil shook his head. "Look, we're almost at the lake!"

Cecil was right about the lake - it was beautiful. The stillness of the water made it look as though there was a hole in ground filled with sky and stars. It was serene and perfect until Cecil leaned over and whispered, "We have to be extra quiet here tonight. It's an odd numbered day on the calendar, which means Bertha is probably sleeping just under the surface of the water. Bertha is a wonderful person, but they get grumpy when awoken - I mean, who wouldn't? - and sometimes they can't always control their tentacles."

Carlos waited for some kind of further explanation, but of course there was none. He just decided to accept it and stay as quiet as he possibly could. He had absolutely no doubt Bertha was wonderful, but he certainly did not want to meet them. Besides, waking someone who's sleeping would be awfully rude anyway. It was when that thought crossed his mind he realized he was thinking like a real Night Valian. He almost giggled but quickly stifled it. 

After gazing at the lake for a while, they started off again. Conversation turned to more personal topics, such as other places lived and plans for the future. Carlos found himself telling Cecil things he normally would have kept to himself out of either shyness or worry about someone judging him, but he felt like he had known Cecil for years. The awkwardness of earlier had long since worn away, leaving a craving for emotional closeness in its wake. For Carlos, the evening had been nearly perfect. He might have wished Cecil had shared a little more about himself, but he so rarely found someone he felt comfortable talking to that he didn't mind too greatly. 

It was because of that ease around Cecil that he decided to move up the timing of a certain conversation. It only felt right. The rest of the night Carlos mulled it over in his mind - the best way to bring it up, possible reactions from Cecil, how it would effect things in the future. 

Cecil's mind was similarly occupied on the walk back to his house. He and Carlos kept up an easy conversation along the way, neither one noticing the other seemed a little distracted. It wasn't until they turned onto the road that Cecil's house was on that his mind pulled itself back into the present. This was it. He took a deep breath. Although this was really only his first date with Carlos, they had met so many times before this for business reasons. If he looked at it on paper, it might seem he was moving too fast. But Carlos was a very smart man. He would catch on sooner rather than later. He had almost caught on earlier that night. He wasn't too certain of exactly how strong Carlos' feeling were for him - "love" could be subjective - but Cecil really did love him. He had loved him since he first laid eyes on him. Stalling things wasn't going to serve any purpose. Secrets didn't make for good relationships. 

It was was with this in mind that Cecil stopped in front of his house. "This is me here." he gestured to the house. He hesitated. He took a deep breath. This was it. They were walking up the sidewalk to his door. There would be no going back after this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am fairly certain this ends the linear story, and the next chapters to come will be more of vignettes as opposed to events that happen one ofter the other. The story will continue, but just with different pacing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is continuity? I have no idea. 
> 
> Just go with it.

"So, Carlos, wo-would you like to come in?" Cecil stood awkwardly in front of his house.

 

"Sure." Carlos's voice sounded calmer then he felt.

 

The outside of the house seemed normal enough - at least by Night Vale standards. There was a garden in front, filled with different plants, and some ivy grew up over some of the walls. It was two stories tall, with what looked like an attic and a chimney. The door was painted black and had two sets of locks that Cecil quickly unlocked with some strange looking skeleton keys. 

 

Stepping inside, Carlos was only half surprised. He had excepted Cecil's house to be strange, but actually seeing it was still a bit of a shock. Bookshelves lined the walls, filled with ancient looking texts, dvds, potted plants, jars with strange things inside, and various odds and ends, some of which looked downright sinister. There were numerous doors, most of which were closed, though through one he could get a glance of what he assumed was a kitchen. There was a worn red rug over the dark hardwood floor.

 

"The living room's this way." Cecil gestured for him to follow as he walked down the hall past the stairs. 

 

Carlos walked a few steps behind him, trying to not let his purely scientific - not snooping or gossipy, no, it was for reasons of science - interest in all of the things on the wall make it too obvious he was staring at them. He would have dearly loved to see what secrets those old tomes were hiding.

 

"Have a seat." Cecil sat down at one end of the couch, and not wanting to seem too forward, Carlos sat at the other end.

 

The living room had a strange air to it, possibly due to the modern looking television set with various kinds of dvd players, stereos, and video game consoles. On the other walls were more shelves, with more of the same kinds of things from out in the hall, along with what Carlos recognized as old alchemy equipment. Jars and bottles were shoved next to each other any which way, next to sculptures of tesseracts and dodecahedrons. Carlos tried not to let his attention wander as Cecil sighed.

 

"Oh, Carlos. Today has been so wonderful, I wish it would never end."

 

Carlos looked back at Cecil. The tone of voice he had used did not match up with the look on his face. He sounded pleased, but looked as though they had just broken up.

 

"Is something wrong?" he asked gently. 

 

Cecil wrung his hands and fretted. "There's something I have to tell you. I suppose I haven't been completely honest with you, and that really isn't fair."

 

Carlos shifted, a little nervous. "There's actually something I need to tell you, too."

 

"Oh? What is it?"

 

"No, no! You first!" Carlos briefly panicked. He wasn't quite ready to say what he needed to say, and was curious about what was eating at Cecil's mind.

 

"Well, I don't really know how to say it." Cecil looked down at his hands, squeezing them together tightly, pulling at the joints in his fingers. "There's no easy way to put it, that's the thing. I've tried telling people in the past, and it hasn't always gone very well." 

 

Tears were welling in his eyes, and his voice sounded a little choked. Carlos had never seen him like this before. He was overcome by a desire to take of this man, to let him know that the could tell him his secrets and it would be okay. 

 

"You see, Carlos, I-I'm probably not what you think I am." Tears were spilling down his face now.

 

Carlos felt his heart break. His mind jumped around as to what Cecil cold mean by this, but nothing he could come up with wold have made him love him any less. He wanted to express this to Cecil, but couldn't quite find the words. It was with that in mind that he did something he would normally never have done. Although Carlos would be the first to tell someone that words were not his strong suit, he was even less well versed in gestures. But at this moment, he felt a simple gesture would be the best thing.

 

Had Cecil not been looking at his hands still, too ashamed to face Carlos, he might have seen it coming and had a chance to lean back or pull away. 

 

But Cecil was not looking, so it came as quite a surprise to both of them when Carlos leaned forward and reached out his hand towards Cecil's face, intending to brush away the tears on his cheek.

 

Carlos had expected, as one normally would, that his hand would rest gently on Cecil's warm, wet, face. That's why his mind did not fully register that his hand had passed through Cecil's face until it was somewhere in the vicinity of his shoulder and showing no signs of stopping.

 

Cecil locked eyes with Carlos, stricken. Carlos jerked his hand back, eyes going wide.

 

"Hah!" he jumped up off the couch. "Uh, um, what?" he shook his hand out vigorously, turning away from Cecil.

 

"My hand just went through your face, Cecil."

 

"I'm a ghost. I am so, so sorry." his voice sounded so small from back on the couch.

 

"Ghost. A ghost." Carlos ran his hands through his hair, trying to process what had just happened. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, and he could actually feel the cold adrenaline running through his body. He turned back to face him.

 

"How?"

 

Cecil had pulled his legs up under him, shoulders hunched over. He looked so small and scared. "I don't know how. I'm the only ghost in town, I think. I died in an accident a long time ago, and I've been here ever since." he cringed. "I didn't break your brain, did I? I told someone once, and they just sort of… Never got better. Started babbling about something and never really stopped. Are you okay?"

 

Carlos hesitantly stepped back closer to the couch as Cecil pulled away from him. 

 

"If I try to touch you, will that happen again?"

 

Cecil nodded.

 

"Does- does it hurt you?"

 

"No. I can't feel it at all."

 

Carlos sat back down on the couch, a little closer to Cecil this time.

 

"Can I try it again?"

 

"Uh huh."

 

Carlos reached out to place his hand on Cecil's shoulder. As before, it went through it as though nothing were even there. The air where Cecil's body was felt just the same as the air around him, though perhaps just a few degrees colder. 

 

"You can't feel that?" he slowly moved his hand down through Cecil's arm.

 

"No. Carlos, are you okay with this?" Cecil barely dared to hope.

 

Carlos scooted closer still. "How do your clothes stay on you if you're immaterial?"

 

"Carlooos!" Cecil blushed and ducked his head. "I don't really know. But what about you - you don't mind? Most people wouldn't be too pleased if they had a- well, a boyfriend - that they couldn't ever touch."

 

Carlos chuckled at first, but it only took a second before he dissolved into full blown laughter. He covered his face with his hands and leaned back on the sofa, laughing and laughing.

 

"Oh Masters of us all! I really have broken you!" Cecil worried at his hands again. "Some people's minds just take the strain of something like this."

 

"No, it's not that." Carlos chuckled. "It's just… Well, this makes what I was about to say earlier that much easier." he turned to face Cecil head on. "Usually this conversation happens the other way around for me." Carlos felt oddly giddy - partly from the fact this would be his first relationship where it really truly didn't matter to the other person if he never wanted physical contact, and partly from the fact that this would also be his relationship with a ghost. If he had been asked about the possible existence of either of those things a day ago, he would have doubted both very much. "Your... Intangibility isn't a problem for me. I'm just not interested in the physical aspect of relationships. I never have been."

 

"So it's not a deal breaker?" Cecil looked hopeful. 

"Of course not. I'm just glad we don't have to have a serious discussion about boundaries."

"I have to say, you're taking this whole 'dating a ghost' thing really well. I never expected it to go this smoothly." Cecil almost couldn't believe the relief he felt. Carlos hadn't run out screaming, hadn't dumped him on the spot, or - a fear Cecil had kept in the back of his mind - immediately asked to study him and treat him as just another science anomaly. 

"I'm kinda surprised about that too." Carlos ran his hand through his hair, leaning back on the couch. He hadn't bothered to move back to other end so he was fairly close to Cecil - closer than he would typically sit next to someone. Knowing what he now knew about Cecil, though, he knew that he wouldn't take Carlos' closeness as some kind of signal and he could relax. 

"I think being in Night Vale has really made me consider so much that I hadn't thought about before - I mean, there's so many strange things that happen here, so why not ghosts?" the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could fully think about how they had sounded. 

"Oh, oh Cecil - I didn't mean that you're strange or, or bad or something - I just-"

"No it's okay. I think I get what you mean."

"I would never want to insult you. And you might have to tell me if I do so I can never do it again, okay? It's just I've never... Met someone quite like you."

Cecil nodded. "I'm not that different than a person, Carlos. Treat me just the same. I just can't touch living things, and I can't eat or sleep... But other than that I'm pretty much the same as- as when I was alive." he stumbled a little over the last part, feeling awkward. 

Carlos started to ask a question but quickly stopped. 

"What was it?" Cecil asked. 

"Nothing, really..." he paused. "Do - do you mind questions about... Ghost stuff?" he felt silly asking, and thought almost certainly Cecil would be upset by how he phrased it. 

"Well, I guess it depends on the question." he shrugged. 

"Oh. Um, are you the only ghost in Night Vale, or are there more? You don't have to answer something if it something if it makes you uncomfortable."

"It's just me, as far as I can tell." he frowned a little. 

"How long have you... Been like this?"

Cecil squirmed nervously. "I don't think I want to answer that one right now..."

"Sorry." Carlos winced. "You- you have a beautiful home." he looked around, trying to change the subject.

"Thank you." Cecil was eager to talk about something - anything - else. "I think you're the first person I've had over in quite some time. I'm glad you like it."

"Do you live here by yourself?"

Cecil nodded. "It's a bit on the big side for just one person, but it helps me pass the time."

Carlos happened to glance at the clock on the wall. 

"Oh man, it's really late. I completely lost track of time today."

Cecil perked up. "We should get you back home then."

"No, it's okay - you're already in your house, you don't have to come with me." he stood up. 

"It'll be safer with two people. What if you need help on the way?"

"But then what about you? You'll have to walk back by yourself."

"Carlos. Need I remind you there's really nothing that can happen to me? I'll be fine, it's you I'm worried about. Unless, of course, you don't want me to go - I don't have to. But just be honest with me, okay? If you've changed your mind about any of this, or you decide it creeps you out, just tell me, please?"

Carlos wanted to smack himself. In wanting to keep Cecil safe from whatever could be out on the streets at midnight, he had unwittingly seemed like he was trying to push him away. 

"No! It's not like that at all. If your sure you'll be fine by yourself..." Carlos was very tired, and Cecil did know far more about the town than he did - it would be nice to have someone there, just in case. 

"I wouldn't feel right sending you out alone." Cecil explained as they left the living room. 

Although they were the only visible beings out on the street as they walked back, there seemed to be presences lurking around all the corners. Carlos was glad Cecil had come with him - he hadn't realized it would be so eerie at night. He assumed that the town always stayed at one level weirdness because really, how much weirder could it get? But even with as much of a creeping sense of dread the town had during the day, the middle if the night was even worse. 

They stayed mostly silent as they walked, not because of running out of things to say despite spending the day together, but because to make any more noise than strictly necessary would have felt like drawing too much unwanted attention. Besides that, most of the residents inside the houses were probably asleep. It wasn't until they were outside Carlos' apartment that he dared to speak, albeit in hushed tones. 

"Thanks for walking with me, I'm glad you did."

"Of course. Thank you for a lovely evening - I think I'll remember it forever." he turned to go. "I'll see you later, I guess."

"Hey, wait."

He stopped. 

"I just wanted to tell you, all this stuff... It doesn't really change anything, okay? I still mean what I said earlier. I really do care about you Cecil. I'm looking forward to spending more time with you. I really lucked out when I got you as a boyfriend." he smiled. 

Boyfriend. Cecil blushed, glad Carlos couldn't really tell in the dim lighting. Yes, he had sort of called himself Carlos' boyfriend earlier that evening and Carlos hadn't corrected him, but there was a world of difference between not being corrected and actually being called his boyfriend. He tried to think of some response that seemed fitting, but he came up short. He figured he better quit while was ahead and go before he embarrassed himself somehow. 

"I love you, Carlos."

"I love you too, Cecil. I'll text you tomorrow, okay?"

Once inside his apartment, Carlos watched out the window for as long he could see Cecil. Now that he had been out so late, he couldn't imagine going out alone. But even if Cecil hadn't grown up in Night Vale, he had probably spent many years here as a ghost. He briefly wondered about the answer to the question Cecil had avoided earlier. He wondered about many things. But they would have to wait until the morning. He was exhausted. 

He fell into bed and was asleep within minutes. Dreams muddled images together, scenes of tentacles rising out of the lake and grabbing him. He reached for Cecil but his hands went right through him. He fell into the lake but it was no longer made of water and he was floating through the sky. He looked at his own hands only to see that they were translucent, the stars visible behind them. The was a growl and he looked up. He was in the alleyway and a beast with long teeth had cornered Cecil. Cecil was shouting for Carlos to help, to do something. Carlos tried to reach out to strike the beast but it seemed to be made out of fog and it didn't even notice his blows. There was a sickening crunch as it but down on Cecil's leg. Carlos fell to his knees and screamed. When he looked up they were in Big Rico's, sitting in a booth. Cecil wouldn't look at him, just kept stirring a straw in his root beer and muttering "It won't work. It just won't work." but he wouldn't say what it was. Rico, the cartoon drawing of Big Rico that was up on the sign came up to the table with a pizza. "You ordered a quantum pizza with a side of niacin?" Carlos stated, struggling to understand what the context of Rico's words. He looked down at the menu he was now holding in his hands. The words looked blurry, like they were underwater. Suddenly there was a piercing noise ripping through everything. 

He had been so tired the previous night he has forgotten to turn off his alarm clock. 

As soon as he realized he was awake and the previous goings on had only been a dream, he quickly silenced the alarm. The room was quiet now except for the pounding of his heart. He say in bed for a few minutes, trying to sort out his muddled memories of what had actually happened the last night and what had been in his dream. Rico hadn't talked to him, no. Bertha was in the lake, but he was pretty sure he hadn't actually seem them. Cecil was- no, that part was real. Cecil was a ghost. He laid back down. He had told him last night that it wouldn't change anything, and while his feelings in regard to Cecil hadn't changed this new situation certainly brought up some... Difficulties? Oddness? Probably both. 

He sighed. He wished he could go back to sleep, but he preferred avoiding those dreams showing up again. 

~~~

Cecil was in the room that used to be his formal dining room. Years and years ago it had been transformed into an ersatz greenhouse. Large windows let plenty of morning light in as he watered each potted plant. Row after row of shelves held all variety of cacti and succulents. His cell phone buzzed and he had to put the watering can down to pull it out of his pocket. It was a text from Carlos. 

'good morning <3' it read. 

Cecil grinned when saw it. He had half been expecting to never hear from Carlos again, but he didn't seem too scared off by what they had talked about. He sent a "good morning" text back. 

'do u want to go to the movies 2night? after 5, busy before that'

'You text like a 14 year old, Carlos'  
'And yes, I'd love to go'

Cecil was beyond pleased. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he could ever end up with that handsome scientist who not only was aware of Cecil's - issues, but accepted him and loved him just the same. 

When Cecil got the theater that night, Carlos was there waiting for him with a bag of popcorn. They sat down near the top of the theater, and while the movie itself was of average quality, Cecil thought that it was the best movie he'd ever seen just because of who he was there with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: author does not endorse or condone relationships between humans and ghosts in real life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I started writing for this story again, but I guess I forgot that the previous chapters were kind of light hearted? I could have sworn this was supposed to a darker series... *sweats nervously*
> 
> Anyway, from this point on the chapters are going to be just little windows into their lives at various points through time, because time isn't real anyway. Unless specifically mentioned in the text, it's up to you at what point each event occurs so in that sense any chapter after chapter 4 is out of order.

For almost all of the time, Cecil's intangibility was an enormous relief to Carlos's mind. He never had to worry about impromptu make-out sessions awkwardly initiated on the couch while watching a movie. He could go to bed at night with the peace of mind knowing that there would be no creeping hands reaching for him nor accidental gropings from a half asleep partner. There could be no misunderstanding of tactile boundaries or recanted promises about physical compromises. It was an almost perfect arrangement. 

Almost. 

It was never enough to truly bother Carlos outright, but every so often the feeling would creep up on him, wiggling in the back of his mind until he managed, however difficult, to push it away. 

He could never touch his boyfriend even if he wanted to, even if his boyfriend wanted him to. 

Did Cecil miss having human contact? Sometimes it was on the tip of Carlos's tongue, to ask him if he was disappointed that now, after all this time, he finally had a relationship but it had to be like this? But he held back, afraid of the answer, afraid of casually and carelessly bringing up questions that might hurt Cecil and linger in his mind long after Carlos had gone to sleep at night leaving Cecil to lie awake, haunted by what he was and now wasn't. 

It bothered Carlos, sometimes. It would be a perfect night out, the moonlight shinning down as they walked down the street both nervously trying so hard to avoid looking at the dog park that they'd both be on the verge of hysterical giggles and they'd talk about the most nonsense subjects so the hooded figures wouldn't be suspicious. Carlos would steal a glance at Cecil's face as he tried to recite a limerick he'd heard somewhere, and upon failing to remember the last line, burst out into a jog, and Carlos would feel a sudden urge to reach out and grab his hand as they ran. But then he would realize just before he did that when he reached out, there would be nothing there, just some odd feeling air and a sad, disappointed look from Cecil as he realized what Carlos had tried. 

He he could not hold his boyfriend's hand as they ran from hideous terrors in the night. 

Sometimes they would sit on the couch or on the floor or even on the kitchen counter and Cecil would bring shoebox after shoebox of mementos and faded photographs and newspaper clippings and tell Carlos about the history of the town and all the people who Cecil had known over the decades. And sometimes as he talked Cecil would get a faraway look in his eyes and his voice would change just ever so slightly and Carlos could tell that he missed Earl or Janice or whoever he happened to be talking about so much that the hurt of missing them permeated his entire being and Carlos wanted so badly to be able to hug him and tell him that it was okay, but he just - couldn't. 

He could not comfort his boyfriend when he needed it most. 

On Carlos's birthday Cecil surprised him with a set of brand new Erlenmeyer flasks, as Carlos had mentioned in passing that most of his had gotten broken over the course of experiments gone wrong in typical Night Vale fashion. It was completely out of the blue for Carlos, who had almost forgotten that he even told Cecil about the broken flasks, and he was shocked by Cecil's generosity - the set was by no means cheap. 

Cecil had snuck up behind Carlos as he was sitting at the kitchen table and placed the box in front of him. Carlos stared at it for a moment before he realized what was going on. 

"Cecil, you didn't have to-!"

"But I wanted to!" Cecil was almost giddy as he sat down opposite Carlos to watch him open it. 

Carlos pulled the top off the box and was speechless. 

"Ceec, I can't believe you remembered!" he was half out of his chair and already leaning forward when he realized what he was about to attempt was a fruitless endeavor. He hovered awkwardly, finally deciding on sinking back down and said "Thank you, so much." with a smile that couldn't quite hide the pain he was feeling. 

Cecil was smiling, but a similar look had come over his face too. It was as though the feeling of being happy was only a reminder of how much sadness could exist, and Carlos wondered in that moment if Cecil knew fully why Carlos was looking so wistful or if perhaps his look was not a reaction to Carlos's own, but just the look of someone who hid their own pain so deep inside that sometimes it seeped out with other emotions. 

He could not even kiss his boyfriend's cheek as a thank-you for a lovely gift. 

Sometimes at night Carlos would lie awake, pretending to sleep but deep in thought. It seemed to him as time went on that he spent more and more of his nights thinking, thinking of the past, and of the present, and of the future, and it what held for him and for Cecil and what it must be like to be stuck between all three of those phases until they all muddled together into one long, unending night. 

If there were moments, however brief or far between, that he, a person not given much to physical contact, felt a longing to just reach out and touch the one he loved - how much more must intangibility weigh on Cecil? They hadn't discussed it in depth, but Carlos assumed that if Cecil were asexual or at the very least averse to touch in his life he would have told Carlos at some point - Cecil was always so quick to point out similarities between himself and his beloved scientist. 

How long has it taken Cecil to grow accustomed to never being able to touch a living being? How many dozens of years, dozens of decades? Was he even used to it now, or was he simply used to hiding the urge to reach out to others as they went by, to shake the hands of neighbours and to embrace friends or to even pet a cat? 

He lay there in bed, less than a foot away from Cecil and wondered as he pretended to be asleep for the benefit of the man who was pretending to be asleep for his benefit. Occasionally he would consider bringing up these questions, and he would play out the different scenarios in his head of what might happen once he did. 

Sometimes his mind-Cecil would break open and weep at being reminded of what he had lost, and sometimes his mind-Cecil would give him a peculiar look as though Carlos had said he believed in mountains and reply that he had no idea what Carlos was going on about, and other times his mind-Cecil would take any number of other paths with a varying outcomes. Carlos was not sure which he would prefer happen, so he never brought it up in actual reality. Eventually he would drift off to sleep and wake up in the morning, or perhaps he would glance at the clock by the bed and realize it was around a waking hour and roll over and pretend to yawn and rub his eyes from feigned sleep and Cecil would do the same. They would greet each other with a "good morning" or a "did you sleep well" "yes, fine, thanks" and they would go about their day and whatever that would entail and each would be left with their own thoughts from the night before but they never brought them up to other, no matter how dark or treacherous those thoughts were nor how much they made each one want to cry out in the darkness and cling to the hope that they weren't the only one feeling this way in a cold, unforgiving universe. So they kept their dark thoughts to themselves and went about their morning making coffee or going to the store or just keeping busy in general until another loud garish sunset signaled the arrival of yet another long, long night. 

For long stretches of time though, Carlos could mostly keep these kind of thoughts from surfacing. He assumed Cecil could do the same, especially when considering he had had far more time to practice keeping his mind occupied. Carlos was stuck balancing the fine line between not bringing these subjects up out of respect for Cecil privacy in regards to his thoughts, or to risk rudeness in not inquiring deeper about Cecil's emotions - perhaps Cecil was waiting for Carlos to ask first, perhaps he wanted nothing more than to share his feelings with him.Carlos could never be sure which side to err on, as Cecil had been raised in Night Vailian culture which was so different from anywhere else. So he never brought up anything he felt might be too personal in regards to Cecil's state of existence. He only tried his best to let him know that he was there for him, that he could bring up anything he wanted to Carlos, and Carlos hoped that would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My word count program said my average sentence length was 62 words. Be honest with me, Readers, are my sentences in this chapter too long? Because 62 words seems hella long. :/ 
> 
> I'm also working on the next chapter of this, which I promise is a little more upbeat than this one. :3


	6. Chapter 6

Carlos had planned the little expedition for over a month. It was not related to work in any way, it was merely a pet project of his own he wished to look into. Occasionally, it was said, there would sprout up a forest in the middle of the desert that would last for a few days, only to vanish as quickly as it had appeared. Carlos wanted nothing more than to see this strange forest and take photographs of it for science. Maybe not the big, fancy science like his colleges studied in the labs, but for the little, quiet science, like the small fossils Carlos kept on his desk because he liked them. 

He had told Cecil about his plans a few days earlier, eagerly explaining what he thought they would look like over dinner. Cecil had never seen the forest himself and he was interested in what Carlos would find. 

"I wish I could go with you, but Station Management wants me to come up some new scripts for prerecorded weekend shows." he sighed. "At least it's better than having to work weekends as well, but I just wish they'd given me more notice before hand, you know? But I want to see the photographs you take." 

Carlos promised to take as many photos as he could and to not leave a single angle of the forest out. 

The trip would take a full day, from early morning until night for him to drive out to where the forest was supposed to sprout this time, take photos, and drive back home. He had marked down on the calendar that Thursday was set aside as his day off. 

On Wednesday morning, however, he revived a phone call that the lab had been flooded with a mysterious liquid fog, and that whatever work they had been doing was now cancelled until they could get it all drained, which would most likely be the end of the day. He asked if Carlos could come in tomorrow, to which he agreed. 

With a sudden day off, Carlos realized he could go see the forest sooner than expected. He leaped out of bed and hurriedly dressed, grabbing some food and tree his gear into his car before explaining quickly to Cecil what was going on. Cecil glanced up from his writing and nodded, wishing Carlos a safe and fun trip. 

With that, Carlos was off. He turned on the radio and sang along with the tunes he recognized and tapped his fingers to songs he didn't know. Eventually the radio gave out, the signal too far away and lost to static. Along the nearly three hour drive, he briefly picked up a numbers station, and he listened to that until it made him feel odd and he turned it off. 

Finally, he could see it in the distance. He could scarcely believe his eyes at the colors of the leaves. Reds and oranges, but also pinks and purples and even blues. The wood twisted up out of the ground and spindly beaches reached for the sky. He parked and stared at it. There was about sixty to a hundred trees, all very close together, swaying in the light breeze. He reached in the back of his car for- 

Where did it go? Surely it was right here! 

In his haste to come see the trees, he had forgotten to bring his camera. 

Carlos was crushed. If he drove back right now to get it, it would be dark by the time he made it back to the forest. He couldn't come back the next day as he had promised to work. By the time he would have another chance to come see it again, it would very likely be gone. 

He got out of the car and sat down on the ground. He pulled out a pen and his notebook in an attempt to draw the forest, but he was no artist. The ink and the paper conspired against him and none of his tries turned out looking anything like what he wanted them to. He cursed under his breath. 

He eventually gave up trying to draw, and just looked at the trees, trying to commit them to memory. He gathered up some of the leaves that had fallen from them in the hopes that perhaps they would stay after the forest was gone. He had been sitting there a little over an hour when he heard a noise that caused him to look behind him. 

There was a car coming towards him. A familiar car - Cecil's car, to be exact. He pulled up near Carlos and got out, taking the camera bag out with him. 

"You forgot something." he smiled, handing it to him. 

"Oh gosh, Ceec! What about your show?" 

Cecil shrugged. "It's ok. I'm sure I can come up with something. Maybe I'll write about the forest." he joked. 

"I'm so lucky to have you, Cecil." Carlos set up the camera. "I don't know what I'd do without you." 

"I was taking a quick break from writing about an hour after you left when I saw your camera bag sitting by the door. I tried calling your cell phone but it was already out of range. I knew this forest thing meant a lot to you, so I knew I had to bring this to you." 

"You're a lifesaver, Ceec." he snapped a photo of the trees. 

"I brought something else, too." he said shyly. 

He pulled out a picnic basket. 

"I know it's not exactly the same, but... I've always wanted to have a picnic, you know back when I was... I mean, I can't eat anything now, but you can, so I was thinking if you were to eat it would almost be like what I pictured. That is, if you want to." 

Carlos laughed. "I would love to have a picnic with you, honey."

Cecil's face lit up. They spread the blanket out underneath the trees and sat down on it and Carlos ate while Cecil talked and they took turns taking pictures - of the trees, of their picnic, of each other, awkward selfies, and they made use of the automatic timer to take some of them together under the trees on the blanket. 

"Pictures are so important." Cecil said. "It's like a memory you can hold on to, one that never changes or is forgotten." 

Carlos smiled and leaned in close as he pressed the button, an image of their faces now burned onto memory of the metallic card inside. 

"We had a special treat this week, listeners. In the middle of the barren desert a lush forest grew up. Where there was once nothing but dry sand and harsh air, suddenly there were colorful leaves and tree trunks to lean against and a rustling noise when the wind blew. Even science is not quite sure how it came to be, but science thought it was quite lovely even if it couldn't be explained and defied all odds. 

Carlos and I went out to look at the wandering forest. We rested under its branches and had a picnic, which Carlos said was delicious and possibly the best picnic ever - his own words, not mine, listeners. You can see some of the photos on my tumblr. The forest was amazing. It was a little sad to think that it would all be gone so soon - Carlos says the forest only lasts a few days before it disappears - but the experience, while it was happening, was wonderful. 

Sometimes things come along that you know are only for a very short time, and that makes the time you do get to experience them all the more sweeter, and all the more sad. 

It's important to take the time to appreciate the fleeting things. It can seem, sometimes, that the smarter option is to hold these things at a distance, as though pushing them away in the here and now will also push away the eventual, inescapable pain of losing them - for lose them we will. But once these things are gone, all you have left are the memories you made, and perhaps a photograph or two. Maybe there's no relic left over at all, as happened for me and Carlos in the forest, because even the leaves so carefully gathered withered away and disintegrated once miles away from the trees they had fallen from. All you are left with is what you were able to keep in your own mind and heart. And in those moments, left with no tangible proof of what had happened, you will be glad of even the painful, wistful memories of things - and people - now long since gone."

Cecil, sitting in a chair with his feet up, was writing the script by candlelight in his bedroom. He paused in his work, looking over at his mortal boyfriend sleeping in his bed, his even breath a metronome in the silent night. Cecil turned the page of the notebook to a blank sheet, and smiled wistfully.


End file.
